. . well, weird. They had already gone over the goths, the computer club members, the hippies and the white kids who thought they were gangster rappers (despite driving Volkswagen Beetles) before the conversation stopped on topic-zero . . . Ms. Pat Baker. ‘She is such a freak. I mean, she HAS to be a dyke,’ one of the school council members had said. ‘I heard her dad was in prison,’ said someone else. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised at ALL. She’s only here this year because she got held back from missing a bunch of classes.’ ‘I’ll bet she worships Satan.’ And the conversation had carried on for a while after that, particularly in regards to assumptions of the girl’s sexual orientation. ‘I bet she’s straight,’ another girl had said. ‘I mean I’ve never seen her checking out any of the girls in gym.’ ‘What’s her bod like?’ one of the football players had asked. ‘Hard as a rock,’ a jealous sounding girl had replied. ‘I mean seriously, does the girl do anything BUT work out?’ Pat had been. Our sex life was fine, but that’s all. Kyle had all but told me that he was bored, but something was missing for me too. Don’t get me wrong, Kyle was an attentive lover, but more often than not, I’d wait until he fell asleep and sneak into the bathroom to find the release that almost always evaded me when I was with him. It was a problem that, historically speaking, was not limited to Kyle. When we first met, Kyle practically worshipped me, but these days, I saw him stealing furtive glances at other girls more and more frequently. We didn’t talk into the late hours of the night, like we used to, and we didn’t flirt anymore. We just kind of meandered about through our relationship, sometimes crashing at his apartment or my house, growing more and more distant over time, more complacent. It felt like things were almost over between us, and maybe they should have been, but I was comfortable, and compared to the fear of throwing myself out into the dating world again and risk being.
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